I wanna be a Good Blogger

Hey, everyone seems to be having good blogs and updating the same everyday. Mine looks so dull and thakela. And to think there was a time I just wrote a lot ! And seeing the stuff I am updating my blog with, people who know me well since years wouldn't be too happy. Of course, they have better expectations from me.

But I am not to be blamed, yaar. I access the net only from home. And I am hardly at home. Just in office. Leave home at 8.30 am and back at 10.00 pm / 10.30 pm or later.

Who has time these days? And I try to fit in some religious activities into that. Prayers, thats what I need these days!

But I seriously need to get back to my hobbies - reading, writing, painting, sketching, singing.... Life seemed so nice when I used to do all that. Now life's just Me and my Job! Also need a special someone to come back home to! I am not so bad looking, am I? Then wats the prob? Maybe, destiny .... (Not too comfortable posting my snap, hence the watercolour effect)

Wats Better?

When we slog in office and sit very late at times, the married people grumble and say that they're surely in for a divorce! And what about people who'll never be married if they devote their whole time to work is wat me says !

Its better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all !!!

When married people work hard and sit back late, they're sacrificing and when unmarried people do the same, its like 'So wat?'!!!

Life's not fair !

The world at my feet

''THE WORLD AT MY FEET''

Bas itna sa khwaab hai!


I really like this pic I took with my sister's W700i mobile at Pune on 29th Oct, 2006. I consider it a piece of art, though amateurish !

heh heh ...

My Evening Out

Saturday evening our department (only exports section) went out for bowling and dinner at Fame Raghuleela (Kandivli). It was the send-off party of two colleagues from our team- Bhavika and Sharmila. Also 4 more had some other reasons to contribute of the party- 2 getting married, one for his promotion, one for becoming a father. For me it was an evening out with a big gang after a long time. It was fun time with 4 colleagues getting along their spouses and three of them coming with kids in tow! Thankfully none of the kids were the crying kinds. All of them were full of smiles and sweet gurgles! Mmuuuaaaaaaaaahhh to them!

Finished our work by 4.00 pm (saturdays are half days for us!) and assembled at venue 6.00 pm, some directly and some home and came.

We had booked two bowling alleys for a certain fixed time and bowled our hearts out. I had always wanted to but never got to somehow. I missed many shots but finally got two of them right! All down !!! But the florescent balls are the lighter weight ones and good for girls. Others weigh like big stones.

Then checked a few shops and finally dinner-unlimited Gujarati Thali at a place called Kalash. Good stuff! But you have to try each item once and then ask for more so that you can try them all ! And while trying gujarati food, be careful to say 'no' , 'stop' at the right time, because spoonfuls of ghee are always ready to be thrown in after every item like 'roti', 'dal baata', 'khichdi'... u name it and ghee's there! And a little bit of sweet flavour lingers from Dal to raita to bhaji.... Like mummy always says ' Jeetey raho, ghee shakkar khatey raho!' :-)

Wats happening????

We are more worried what's happening in other parts of the world and never fail to highlight terrorism by giving it an Islamic lining, but fail to even take up the issue of terrorism in North East which has been going on since ages !!! And that too, killing one's own countrymen just because they belong to a different region !!! Is this justice ?

Its funny how we are interested in the Kashmir issue because votes can be earned there by making it a religious issue from either religion side, but though the problem in Assam is as old, we ignore it as if it does not exist. Or do we not acknowledge the presence of entire North east region at all? I've been to that region while my Dad was posted there for a while. The military and their checking of private vehicles and places is part of people's lives there. But we never even talk about it. Because there's no political issue there !

Another question- Why do we always target the poor biharis? Treating them as sub standard people. They are the ones who go to any part of the world and do any work for survival. And as far as I know, working hard for a living is not a crime ! And so is migrating for work! Don't we go to UK, US and other countries to earn a living?

Two Options

In life, there are two options available to do things - One is : What one ought to do !(thats doing things expected of you... in short, following the mind) and option Two is : What one really wants to do ! (wat your heart really wills from within !)

Half my life I've only done things I ought to do. The rest half I want to live doing things I really want to do !

Its ur turn next !

All the corrupt politicians of India, beware! Bush might try you next !!! And who knows, u might be hanged too !

Overheard in train

Two girls about to alight at Mira Road station on seeing the salt pans on West side speaking to each other. One girl, 'yahaan namak sasta milta hai' (salt is available cheap here). Second girl : 'Sach? Kaash hum bhi aisi jagaah par rehte... shehar se door' (I wish we were also staying here).... Strange conslusions and dreams!

Famous Baccha Quote

Heard a very young girl speaking to her friends while playing......
''Main toh apni mummy ki har baat maanti hoon.... Mujhe jannat mein jo jaana hai! " (I listen to whatever my Mom says since I want to go to heaven)

GIVE ME BACK THOSE PRECIOUS YEARS!

Give me back those sweet childhood and early youth spent in South Mumbai.... the accessibility to travel anyplace without thinking twice.... away from the suburban crowds!

Give me back those lucky days wherein I used to win everything I laid my hands on....

Give me those sweet non-working days spent in leisure and around FM..... calling radio channels, writing to them and winning many contests...

Give me back those days which went in painting, writing, making cards for friends/ family, making pretty things of craft......

Give me back those intelligent friends, the group of like minded people, which we called SCAMS and met occasionally

Give me back those days wherein least time was spent travelling between office and home (Fort to Mumbai Central)

Give me back those precious 8 YEARS I SPENT SLOGGING AT WORK!

Those eight years of sincerity, hard work, without distractions sacrificing on personal life, time, everything.....

Give me back those last 6 years out of the 8 years, which were spent in the present job, working quietly but sincerely....and more harder....even letting others take credit of many things at times

Give me back those last 3 years out of the 6 years (which were the most painful of all), spent in house arrest at Chandivli (my job location)....

Those three years... where I changed residence, changed department, changed myself....

Those three years spent in pollution at Andheri East... spoiling my hair and skin texture... taking in impure air

Those three years working at such a location missing out on 'being at the right place at the right time'.... missing job and matrimonial prospects!

Those three years cancelling meetings with friends and relatives since work was more important for me!

Those three years spent inside closed four walls cut off from the world for 10- 12 or more hours (in a BPO kinda set up)! somebody help me.... i am suffocating!

Those three years, where people smile on face and bitch behind your back!

Those overall eight years of working, wherein I gave specific instructions to friends and family not to call at workplace coz 'work was worship' for me!

Those last 6 years, where I've not seen my relatives for ages..... those relatives, who have just become telephonic voices for me.... coz even if they come from afar to meet us, I am at work and Mom just dials my number and makes them speak to me....

....All because, I was a workoholic and never tried to ask to leave early or took leave unless ill.... never even asked for time concession during tough fasting in Ramzan (though lunch hour was also spent working!).... so my few leaves became topics of issues.... asking for a day off became a calender consulting rituals...

And the end of all this, what do I have ? .........

EMPTY HANDS (and bank balance)
A LONELY LIFE
A WASTED YOUTH

And all because I never lied, I never bluffed, I never showed off, I never boasted, I never talked about my accomplishments, I was humble....

So much to write

I've got so much to write about...... and so little time..... blogged after a long time. Was on a day off...... Life hasn't been so particularly kind... Hmm...

TRYING TO GET MARRIED

Hmm..... In Asian society, you aren't complete unless you are married. You might be successful, you might be smart and you might have everything but you aren't anything unless you are married. I used to find all this quite crappy until some 4 years back. I was the studious kind, the workoholic kind and in trying to be these kinds, I lost my own kind somewhere..... I've lost sweet moments of my life just slogging at work and letting moments turn into hours, then days, then months and finally years!

When the need to have a partner dawned, it was already too late in Asian context. Of course, not one who believes in relationships outside marriage, I started my matrimonial search somewhere 3 years back. And let me tell you that these three years have been very painful part of my life. More painful than the slogging I do at work without much recognition!!!

You may wonder why. My first mistake was - starting my search late.... at the age of 26-27 years. In India, girls are married by 25 years approximately. But I was very scared of marriage and having to move to a new household and to be married to an unknown man. It was very scary thinking whether it will work out or not. So, I used to avoid the subject completely. Then when I actually started my search, I found it was equally difficult.

Not that I am not smart. And though, I am a little dusky, I've never been ugly or faced any discrimination on those grounds. But marriage is a different thing altogether!!! In the marriage market, you can get rejected on any grounds..... 'slightly dark', 'slightly obese', 'more modern', 'more traditional'... just anything. For someone you might be fat and at the same time you can be not too curvy for another. For someone, you might be too conservative while another will find you 'not traditional enough'. You start trying to fit here, there...... so if you try to fit into one mould, you will come across someone who will be looking for someone the other type. You lose a few pounds cause you are considered 'fat' and when you do so, you lose a proposal because you aren't chubby enough! These last 3 years, I've just been trying to fit into these so-called moulds and have lost my own identity. Though, we are Asians and are considered the 'coloured people' by some, our own people can reject you on any 'colourful' grounds (pun intended!). Then there are people, you put there name on matrimonial sites when they themselves are not sure of taking their own decisions. So, a person might accept and like you, but at the last moment, the family wants a slim, trim and very fair bride.... so if you aren't, you're out!

You might be educated, well settled in job, but that doesn't work..... cause you are a girl ! You have to have the right colour, the right figure, the right spark...... the right homemaker and lots more.... And you gotta be naughty and nice at the same time. For you can get rejected for not giving the right kinda naughty response when the first call is made!

Its so disgusting..... all this! Especially when you are into a stressful and long working hours kinda job. When you have limited time to give to such matters and people at the other end have all the time in the world to look for the 'perfect female' and sometimes at the end of it, marry the person of their family's choice!

What a waste!

Been too busy

I've just been too busy with my Life that I haven't been having any free time to sit and ponder (for that matter--- BLOG!) Hope to get back in form soon.

My Goa connection

Goa might be a just another tourist spot for many and for beach lovers' a great spot to picnic and enjoy, but Goa is special to me in a different kinda way! It is my second home. In fact, my Mom's second home. It is my second native place

Let me explain how. My parents are from North Canara (Uttar Kannada) district in Karnataka (on the border of Maharashtra/ Goa) from a place called Karwar. My Mom's dad (grandfather) was a freedom fighter when our country was still struggling for its freedom. He was part of Gandhiji's Ahimsa brigade. So, obviously, he was a wanted man by the Raj. So he escaped to Vasco, Goa which was under Portuguese rule to evade arrest by the British Raj. There he set up a second house.

When my grandpa came to Goa, there were not many good schools around. People seemed neither interested in religion nor education. He started a small school in Baina, Vasco and called it Ameniya. Today the same is known by the name of Ameniya High School.

My grandpa is no more now but all now all my maternal uncles are settled in Vasco, one uncle stays in Ponda (Goa) with an exception of one who stays in the old house in Ambejug (Karwar) and is a small time farmer.

We used to go to Karwar and Goa a lot when we were in School. Every alternate vacation we used to go to Karwar to my Dad's place and from there to Vasco, which is 3 hours journey from there. As we reached college and later started working, we wanted to see other parts of India too. So our Goa-Karwar trips reduced (making way for other places) and finally it had been 12-13 years when I had last seen my native lands.

Now most of my Dad's brothers and sisters are in Mumbai and the small house at Sunkeri, Karwar stands deserted. My Mom's cousins and one brother are in Karwar but all the other brothers have made Goa their home.

And so, Goa remains as a second home to me....

Long Break

Life had gotten quite hectic and monotonous due to excess workload and mad rush of Mumbai life. Late work hours and long maddening travelling.....Hence could not even blog for quite a while.

Taken a break from office since 18th May, 2006. Been busy completing pending stuff, doing things I like. Even went to Goa. I am back with a tan!!! But the sad part is that my freedom will soon be over. It will be back to work in a few days and then the same old routine again..... Life just goes on and goes on........ I need an exciting change in my life!