Monday, June 12, 2017

Using Communication skills against discriminatory agenda.

Have you come across people who, to make others they dislike look non-likeable, look for ways to label them with a religion they dislike. They will come up with creative stories of how secretly they are Muslims or Christians or how they have secret affiliations?!

Their preposterous theories and those who forward and believe them, are a proof of how racist such people are! Their main agenda is - 'Hey, look. He's a Muslim / Christian. That's why he doesn't deserve to be a leader, a politician, a minister, or anything important'. Else, why the heck does it even matter if some important person was some specific religion openly or secretly. 

With such people, just for the sake of accepting all their creatively fake stories, you should ask those who spread them - 'So what?!' And watch their reaction. It'll be like they took so much trouble to convince you and yet... Their entire propaganda balloon will burst!

Or use the 'Judge The Judge' technique like an expert communicator, learnt from my guru, Dan O'Connor : "So are you implying that just because you believe that the person belongs to a certain religion, he doesn't deserve to be a minister, a prime minister or hold an important position". And Watch them polarise! 'No, no, I didn't mean that. I respect all religions....blah blah...'! Cause judges don't like to be judged. At the end, you might add, 'Next time please do not forward racist messages/ emails to me'.

I've learnt the 'Judge the Judge' technique from Dan O'Connor

For buying Dan's books in India and for conducting training on Techniques of Communication, Effective English Communication, First Impressions and other training modules, on Image management and soft skills, please write to

You can also follow Dan O'Connor on YouTube on his channel Online Communication Training. (

My freaky Sci-Fi Moment

Sunday night (June 11, 2017) I'd gone to a store to exchange a kurti (I'd already informed of my alternate choice the previous day), which was a matter of mins. 

A 3 yr old beautiful kid (very fair with blonde hair) was sitting on the display table as his mom was checking out clothes. The moment he saw me, he said, 'Toh aa gaye aap?' (So you've arrived) As if he was waiting for me since centuries! His mom was startled and looked at me and smiled. And said that he's talking as if he's known you all along. Till then I thought the kid was talking to his mom. I asked the lady if he said that to me. She said 'Yes'. I looked at the little boy, who was serious, all the while watching me. He gave me an adult-like look. I told him, 'Oh, kaise ho?' (Oh, how are you?) He immediately responded saying that 'Noori bhi aayi hai' (Noori has also come) and pointed at his little sister playing in the store. Little Noori looked at me and I said, 'Hi Noori'. Till then my work was done and I said 'Bye' to the little boy and walked out.

That a totally freaky Fringe moment! I think our souls had met before we came on earth. :-)

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Mentoring or learning ?

It's a wonderful experience to mentor teenagers. I met mine last week at Markivs, Churchgate. Thanks to Antarang Foundation and HDFC Bank CSR.

My two mentees, Minakshi and Zarina are from Ambedkar Nagar slum colony. They have different backgrounds. 

Zarina is a cancer survivor. She told me that her Dad never told her what her illness was. However, she mentioned that she underwent chemotherapy and did not have the harsh aftereffects of it. I admire her Dad who coming from a poor background has treated her like a fairy. She had her last session in December 2016. And she's full of life and dreams. She is now entering her final graduation year. It's not surprising that a strong girl like her landed up as my mentee. The universe is like a mirror. It reflects back what you send to it. 

Minakshi is more outgoing of the two. She likes to do volunteer work, network, work part-time. Not too great in studies, she's creative. She likes to paint, design. She wants to be a fashion designer. Sometimes confused though. What can you expect from a girl who has just appeared for her 12th board exams. She too has dreams. And best thing is that she has the confidence of achieving her dreams.

Both of them like to design and stitch clothes. Zarina has a way with numbers, as she told me. And interested in finance.

While I am their inspiration, I am inspired by them. They are sorted and are compelled to think of their future and career at such a young age. At that age, we were still not decided about our careers. While they have to think about better financial future. Thanks to Antarang Foundation, which has given direction to their dreams. And after completion of their training program assigned them to mentors from the Industry for a year. My journey with them begins. I hope to make difference to their lives and future. in sha Allah. More as a friend than anything else. 

Monday, April 10, 2017

Starting a new blog...

Friends, I am going to start a new blog soon. It will be as my journey as an image consultant. Keep watching this space for new announcement.

A Professional Dilemma

As I plan to be an independent entrepreneur (that's been on my mind since 2 years now), the Question that comes to my mind is : FEMA Consultant or Image Consultant? 

With so many years in Foreign Trade and now in Foreign Investments and liaising with RBI on regular basis, the first option always seems more appropriate. In fact, advising so many bank's customers, their consultants/ CAs daily as well as other branches of bank, this seems so very apt. Recently someone even advised me on those lines.

However, I am tired of finance in everything, regulations to refer day in and out. And my creativity has been on hold for too long (gave up painting since banking and haven't sketched in a long time). And Image Management and Training with all the Social Media marketing bit has intrigued me for a while now. And I am glad I completed the Image Management course at ICBI.

However, after a thought, I've realised that I am open to both. ODI (Overseas Direct Investments) is one of my favourite topics. Yes, ECB (External Commercial Borrowings) comes in next. I was one of the 2 people instrumental in working on the first Masala Bond (INR Denominted ECB Bond) in India. In fact, it was a privilege to receive calls from seniors at RBI Central office as well as DSIM to understand things when this first took off. Of course, it was new on both sides. And always together you understand things better than interpreting things alone. And as a banker, I got to know things from client and regulator perspective.

However, being in any line of activity, especially those controlled by regulations and markets, one has to be updated. And of course, be connected to the pulse of the profession. And I am working towards it. Right now, I am getting my matter together for making a mark as an Image Consultant and Trainer. Hoping for success, in sha Allah.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Train Travails

The travel problem in Mumbai trains is getting worse.

The biggest sarcasm that railway plays on commuters is announcing : "Train ke paidaano par khada rahna ya train se bahaar jhaakna khatarnaak hai...." While that is true, it is joke on our condition. There is a girl who travels daily, who every time she hears that, says "I am going to find her and bash her up"! And we all laugh.

There are times when even after 45 mins wait, I am unable to get into a train. Though there are people (even women and college girls) who travel hanging if they just get half a foothold on the footboard. I can't do that. Though sometimes I get answerable in office for it. And not is it advisable for anyone to take that risk. Everything can be replaced except your life and your body.

A cousin's son fell off a train last year. Thankfully, it was near Dahisar station when train had slowed down. So he was injured on his spine and head, but was out of Danger, by God's grace.

Discrimatory Icons of Whatsapp!

I am not much of a Whatsapp (WA) user. Since I added it to my business / office number and use it sometimes, I find it so bland and boring.

Worst are the emoticons. Apart from being boring, I find them discriminatory too.

What's with having so many coloured hands for gestures? When I used it first time, some months back, just to post a thumbs up, several coloured hands popped up. And I was compelled to use one closest to my skin tone. Using one emoticon on WA involves so much of a thought. And it has a series of unwanted emoticons one would never use.

Being Strong, not Wrong!

Being a strong woman does not mean to dominate, raise voice, order around and show arrogance.
Being a strong woman means to have courage to keep going on inspite of your pains. 
Being a strong woman means to be a source of inspiration and help even after facing problems in life.
Being a strong woman means to complete your duties as a woman and also make a difference to society.
Being a strong woman means to help other women reach their full potential.

Some women have a wrong perception of Being Strong. When they start earning a bit, they show arrogance. And power. And give orders.

That's not Strong. That's Wrong.
Strong is about Courage. Not Rage.