Overheard in train

Two girls about to alight at Mira Road station on seeing the salt pans on West side speaking to each other. One girl, 'yahaan namak sasta milta hai' (salt is available cheap here). Second girl : 'Sach? Kaash hum bhi aisi jagaah par rehte... shehar se door' (I wish we were also staying here).... Strange conslusions and dreams!

Famous Baccha Quote

Heard a very young girl speaking to her friends while playing......
''Main toh apni mummy ki har baat maanti hoon.... Mujhe jannat mein jo jaana hai! " (I listen to whatever my Mom says since I want to go to heaven)

GIVE ME BACK THOSE PRECIOUS YEARS!

Give me back those sweet childhood and early youth spent in South Mumbai.... the accessibility to travel anyplace without thinking twice.... away from the suburban crowds!

Give me back those lucky days wherein I used to win everything I laid my hands on....

Give me those sweet non-working days spent in leisure and around FM..... calling radio channels, writing to them and winning many contests...

Give me back those days which went in painting, writing, making cards for friends/ family, making pretty things of craft......

Give me back those intelligent friends, the group of like minded people, which we called SCAMS and met occasionally

Give me back those days wherein least time was spent travelling between office and home (Fort to Mumbai Central)

Give me back those precious 8 YEARS I SPENT SLOGGING AT WORK!

Those eight years of sincerity, hard work, without distractions sacrificing on personal life, time, everything.....

Give me back those last 6 years out of the 8 years, which were spent in the present job, working quietly but sincerely....and more harder....even letting others take credit of many things at times

Give me back those last 3 years out of the 6 years (which were the most painful of all), spent in house arrest at Chandivli (my job location)....

Those three years... where I changed residence, changed department, changed myself....

Those three years spent in pollution at Andheri East... spoiling my hair and skin texture... taking in impure air

Those three years working at such a location missing out on 'being at the right place at the right time'.... missing job and matrimonial prospects!

Those three years cancelling meetings with friends and relatives since work was more important for me!

Those three years spent inside closed four walls cut off from the world for 10- 12 or more hours (in a BPO kinda set up)! somebody help me.... i am suffocating!

Those three years, where people smile on face and bitch behind your back!

Those overall eight years of working, wherein I gave specific instructions to friends and family not to call at workplace coz 'work was worship' for me!

Those last 6 years, where I've not seen my relatives for ages..... those relatives, who have just become telephonic voices for me.... coz even if they come from afar to meet us, I am at work and Mom just dials my number and makes them speak to me....

....All because, I was a workoholic and never tried to ask to leave early or took leave unless ill.... never even asked for time concession during tough fasting in Ramzan (though lunch hour was also spent working!).... so my few leaves became topics of issues.... asking for a day off became a calender consulting rituals...

And the end of all this, what do I have ? .........

EMPTY HANDS (and bank balance)
A LONELY LIFE
A WASTED YOUTH

And all because I never lied, I never bluffed, I never showed off, I never boasted, I never talked about my accomplishments, I was humble....

So much to write

I've got so much to write about...... and so little time..... blogged after a long time. Was on a day off...... Life hasn't been so particularly kind... Hmm...

TRYING TO GET MARRIED

Hmm..... In Asian society, you aren't complete unless you are married. You might be successful, you might be smart and you might have everything but you aren't anything unless you are married. I used to find all this quite crappy until some 4 years back. I was the studious kind, the workoholic kind and in trying to be these kinds, I lost my own kind somewhere..... I've lost sweet moments of my life just slogging at work and letting moments turn into hours, then days, then months and finally years!

When the need to have a partner dawned, it was already too late in Asian context. Of course, not one who believes in relationships outside marriage, I started my matrimonial search somewhere 3 years back. And let me tell you that these three years have been very painful part of my life. More painful than the slogging I do at work without much recognition!!!

You may wonder why. My first mistake was - starting my search late.... at the age of 26-27 years. In India, girls are married by 25 years approximately. But I was very scared of marriage and having to move to a new household and to be married to an unknown man. It was very scary thinking whether it will work out or not. So, I used to avoid the subject completely. Then when I actually started my search, I found it was equally difficult.

Not that I am not smart. And though, I am a little dusky, I've never been ugly or faced any discrimination on those grounds. But marriage is a different thing altogether!!! In the marriage market, you can get rejected on any grounds..... 'slightly dark', 'slightly obese', 'more modern', 'more traditional'... just anything. For someone you might be fat and at the same time you can be not too curvy for another. For someone, you might be too conservative while another will find you 'not traditional enough'. You start trying to fit here, there...... so if you try to fit into one mould, you will come across someone who will be looking for someone the other type. You lose a few pounds cause you are considered 'fat' and when you do so, you lose a proposal because you aren't chubby enough! These last 3 years, I've just been trying to fit into these so-called moulds and have lost my own identity. Though, we are Asians and are considered the 'coloured people' by some, our own people can reject you on any 'colourful' grounds (pun intended!). Then there are people, you put there name on matrimonial sites when they themselves are not sure of taking their own decisions. So, a person might accept and like you, but at the last moment, the family wants a slim, trim and very fair bride.... so if you aren't, you're out!

You might be educated, well settled in job, but that doesn't work..... cause you are a girl ! You have to have the right colour, the right figure, the right spark...... the right homemaker and lots more.... And you gotta be naughty and nice at the same time. For you can get rejected for not giving the right kinda naughty response when the first call is made!

Its so disgusting..... all this! Especially when you are into a stressful and long working hours kinda job. When you have limited time to give to such matters and people at the other end have all the time in the world to look for the 'perfect female' and sometimes at the end of it, marry the person of their family's choice!

What a waste!

Been too busy

I've just been too busy with my Life that I haven't been having any free time to sit and ponder (for that matter--- BLOG!) Hope to get back in form soon.

My Goa connection

Goa might be a just another tourist spot for many and for beach lovers' a great spot to picnic and enjoy, but Goa is special to me in a different kinda way! It is my second home. In fact, my Mom's second home. It is my second native place

Let me explain how. My parents are from North Canara (Uttar Kannada) district in Karnataka (on the border of Maharashtra/ Goa) from a place called Karwar. My Mom's dad (grandfather) was a freedom fighter when our country was still struggling for its freedom. He was part of Gandhiji's Ahimsa brigade. So, obviously, he was a wanted man by the Raj. So he escaped to Vasco, Goa which was under Portuguese rule to evade arrest by the British Raj. There he set up a second house.

When my grandpa came to Goa, there were not many good schools around. People seemed neither interested in religion nor education. He started a small school in Baina, Vasco and called it Ameniya. Today the same is known by the name of Ameniya High School.

My grandpa is no more now but all now all my maternal uncles are settled in Vasco, one uncle stays in Ponda (Goa) with an exception of one who stays in the old house in Ambejug (Karwar) and is a small time farmer.

We used to go to Karwar and Goa a lot when we were in School. Every alternate vacation we used to go to Karwar to my Dad's place and from there to Vasco, which is 3 hours journey from there. As we reached college and later started working, we wanted to see other parts of India too. So our Goa-Karwar trips reduced (making way for other places) and finally it had been 12-13 years when I had last seen my native lands.

Now most of my Dad's brothers and sisters are in Mumbai and the small house at Sunkeri, Karwar stands deserted. My Mom's cousins and one brother are in Karwar but all the other brothers have made Goa their home.

And so, Goa remains as a second home to me....

Long Break

Life had gotten quite hectic and monotonous due to excess workload and mad rush of Mumbai life. Late work hours and long maddening travelling.....Hence could not even blog for quite a while.

Taken a break from office since 18th May, 2006. Been busy completing pending stuff, doing things I like. Even went to Goa. I am back with a tan!!! But the sad part is that my freedom will soon be over. It will be back to work in a few days and then the same old routine again..... Life just goes on and goes on........ I need an exciting change in my life!

Maine Gandhi ko nahin Maara

Hmm.... Its so true! Nopes, I didn't kill Gandhi. We all Indians did! Over the years, the respect for Gandhiji's philosophy of 'Ahimsa' (non-violence) has died in the hearts of all Indians. When we had just tasted the new found freedom of being a 'free' country, we spoke a lot about the man who was born Mohanlal Karamchand Gandhi. He earned a lot of respect from the people who later called him Gandhiji. And when he struggled a lot for India's freedom and eventually even managed to make it a free nation with his non-violence strategy, we called him the Mahatma and gave him the title of 'Father of the Nation'.

But just like we have lost respect for our own fathers, who would care more for the father of the nation! I have seen people losing respect over the years for the great Mahatma. Now, we have taken our independence for granted and speak from the comforts of our houses what Gandhi should have done and shouldn't have. People even feel that his philosophy was crap and the revolutionary struggle led by Bhagat Singh and others was more appealing. Of course, both were right in their own ways. But of course, the ahimsa philosophy and Gandhi's cool temperament and knowledge of law eventually won us our freedom. Of course, the struggle wasn't very easy for him in the final stages when his own followers had contradictory ideas which eventually led to the formation of a separate country based on religion. It was as painful for him as it was for all other Indians. But the situation then and pressures, left him with no option. We, without, shedding a single drop of blood sit and bad mouth the Mahatma these days, especially some political parties. And let us not forget that the one who killed him was also an Indian who was filled with vemon in his heart for him. If he wouldn't have been killed then, some other Indian who hated his philosophy would have!

And yeah Gandhi is killed everyday even today, when we talk rubbish about him. Its the Indians, who have nearly forgotten him and his philosophy of Ahimsa and Satyamev Jayate, but the world still respects him as a Great Man. And he continues to live through people who still respect him.

I have always respected his struggle, his sacrifice for the nation (wherein he gave up all luxuries including good clothes) and his respect for all religions and humans. It saddens me when some revolutionaries are glorified at the expense of Gandhi. I wanted to voice my opinion since a long time. When I saw the movie 'Maine Gandhi ko Nahin Maara', I was touched and felt that this was the right time to pay my due respect to the 'Father of the Nation'.

As for the movie, I'll say it is well-made. And rightly won the National Award.

The fall, the Slip off, tear and the publicity!

The Lakme Fashion Week has been in the limelight for all the wrong reasons (deliberate?) this year.

First the fall of the garment and honour of Carol and then there were people who fell further by selling those clips and photos. Top newspapers had it on the front pages. One paper had three pictures on the front page of what happened in sequence. One so-called 'good' TV news channels showed the same clipping from different angles stating 'ek baar phir dekhiye'.

Its sad how people like to have fun and laugh when a woman's dignity at stake! Very soon there were video clippings and MMS doing the rounds! Wonder if the same would be the case if a man's pant came off on stage!!!

When you come to think of it, there were not one but a series of 3 or 4 malfunctions and all of them on the more famous models! Carol Gracias, Gauhar Khan and Ujwala Raut!
Were they deliberate and for publicity?
Were they planned by the organisers without the consent of the models (a loose Velro on a model when dressing her up hoping she would carry it off if anything went wrong!) or with the consent of the models!

Whatever the reason behind it was, it was too unreal to happen on 3 days within the same fashion week!

And the worst thing was how the perverts cashed in on it!

It was not the fall of a woman's dignity but showed how much people can fall and make money out of someone's problem

Watta movie!

Saw BLACK today..... you might wonder why so late. All this while I'd been avoiding it thinking it would be some tear-jerker. Waise hi life mein kam tension toh hai nahin... socha why to see a serious movie. I thought of seeing the same in some lighter moments.

The movie has won so many awards and rightly so. I happened to muster the courage to watch it tonight on cable. And all I can say is that it's a masterpiece! Really!!!

It's an inspiration to all who lose hope in life with trivial issues. It tells us that there are many problems in this world which we are thankfully away from. And more importantly, it tells us - Nothing's impossible!

Those who haven't seen the movie as yet, please do. This is one of those rare Bollywood movies which make sense (not that all Hollywood movies do!)

Banking is a thankless job

Hmm..... Finally got some time to write something after making this blog. Had been busy with financial year end activities (Apr- Mar is the Financial year in India). Being a banker isn't easy these days, what with banks offering an array of products and we, poor things (the employees) burning the midnight oil to keep up to the promises the top management makes!!! Of course, managment leaves at 6.30 pm / 7.00 pm or so.... and we the 'commoners' burn the midnight lamp, as they say!

31 st March.... hmm... the most dreaded day, has finally passed. We worked for 13 hours at a stretch ! Banking is such a thankless job, yaar. You slog day and night and no one notices. But one mistake in 100 transactions and you're hit from the customer as well as bosses! :-(

Banking is been part of me right from childhood. My Dad was in the central bank of India, RBI. But the functions of RBI are different from a normal bank. Though my Dad wanted me to be a banker like him, I was inclined towards the arts - writing, painting, reading etc. I used to dread being a banker always. For me, once banking meant being a cashier and counting cash. The thought of handling cash always scared me. And still does! I wanted to be a journalist/ writer. But fate finally landed me in a bank. But thankfully not in the cashier's place. I was part of corporate banking whereas cashier is part of retail banking. Its been 8 years now since I took up banking and my life has come to a standstill. The long hours never left me any time to live my life the way I wanted. No time for self, for friends, for family..... I told everyone to wait. But eventually life itself didn't wait for me.

So here, I sit alone in life...... of course, my parents and siblings are always there with me.... but something is still lacking. Is banking worth all my life that went into it? Only for what? Banking is such a thankless job!

My First Blog- What do I Write?

This being my first Blog, I am clueless as to where to begin (my journey)

Since, at present I am looking for someone to share my life with, I will post this nice poem I came across :

When I saw your name next to mine,
In our wedding card,I felt blessed.

When I saw you smile,
Seeing me in the traditional bridal dress,
I felt teased.

When I held your hand,
During the marriage rituals,
I felt responsible.

When you entered my lonely bachelor life,
And changed it into a heavenly abode,
I felt lucky.

When you showed the same love as I did,
Towards my parents,
I felt proud.

When you scolded me,
For neglecting my heath amidst my hectic work,
I felt pampered.

When I saw you scream,
Crying out of labor pains,
I felt helpless.

When I saw tears of happiness in your eyes,
As you looked at our kid,
I felt blessed once again.

All these feeling have bloomed in my heart,
But are yet to blossom in reality.
As these are feelings I long to feel,
For these are still unfelt.
Will you marry me?

An odd way to begin one's blog... but its 1 am now and can't think of anything better after a hard day's work at office