In last couple of months, while relooking at whether to continue in this whole 'married to job' routine or freelance, I've been analysing on a lot of things.
And another important aspect of life came to light. Why women find it hard to divorce inspite of being in an abusive marriage (no, I've never been married). Especially, those who've chosen to be homemakers over pursuing a career.
Divorcing a husband is a decision similar to taking a decision to quit a job.
A woman who has chosen to be a housewife/ homemaker for her man and take care of his house and kids, is totally dependent on her man. That's a full time job as well. (Exceptional women manage both with some not-so-easy adjustments).
So divorcing a man, in such scenario, is equivalent to quitting your job. In one case, you're dependent on your company to feed and take care of you. In another, you're dependent for the same on your husband.
Both decisions -Divorce (where there is no hope) and Resigning (where one doesn't have a financial fall-back person) involve the same mental pressure from financial security part, apart from the emotional aspects involved in both scenarios. And both involve coming out of your comfort zones, challenging yourself, being stronger. And hoping for the best.
I am speaking of jobs in sectors which involve working minimum 10-12 hours a day! Even your essential work gets postponed to next week and the next and then to months and then years! And ultimately, never happens.
Another scenario that comes to my mind is a job which involves staying far from your family. Where a man works abroad and unable to take his family there. One gets to see them once a year for few days or after 2 years. After working for 20-25 years, everyone comes to the phase where they want to spend the remaining good years with their family or loved ones or do things that they wanted. What's the point of leaving that to retirement? Will you be fit or willing to pursue anything then? And would you be able to use the extra money you managed to earn after so many years of service? People will only be fighting for it when you're gone. You don't even know if someone will be there to help you manage the funds or get it for your help after retirement if you're old and sick. Especially if you're single and used to sedentary desk job. So a time comes when you choose how to spend the rest of your remaining life. Nothing's easy in this world. But we have to choose what is important for us.
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