Shab-e-Baraat (The night of Accountability / Salvation)

Hadith :
From Hazrat Ala ibne Haris (R), Hazrat Ayesha Rad says, “Once Rasulullah SallallahuAlaiyhiwa Sallam stood for Salat at night and he stayed in Sajdah for such a long time that I thought he had passed away. I then woke up and shook his thumb. His thumb shook. He got up from Sajdah and completed his Salat and told me,“O `A’ishah (or O Humaira [as he would call her]), have you thought that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would not give you your right?” I said, “No, by Allah, Allah’s Messenger. But when you stayed prostrating so long, I thought you had passed away.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then said, “Do you know what night this is?” I said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “This is the 15th night of Sha`ban. Almighty Allah turns towards His servants on the 15th of Sha`ban and forgives those who ask for His forgiveness, grants mercy to those who ask for it, and delays (punishing or bringing to account) the evil people.”
Shuabul Iman, Baihaqi 3/382 – 368

Another Hadith :

Mu-az Ibne Jabal (RA) quot es Rasulullah SallallahuAlaiyhiwaSallam: “Allah Ta’la looks on to His creation at the half of Shaban, and without ‘mushrik’ (who make partners wit h Allah Taala and jealous people – He forgives all.” (Shahih Ibne Hibban)

Ibn Majah also reported with a weak chain of reporters on the authority of `Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said,
''After sunset on the night of Middle of Sha`ban, Allah in His great mercy and kindness turns towards His creation and asks, "Is there anyone who would seek My forgiveness and I forgive him (or her)? Is there anyone who is in need to ask Me and I provide for his (or her) needs. Is there anyone who is in pain and seeks My help and I help him (or her)? Is there…? Is there…?” until the time of Dawn."

Shab-e- Baraat is observed on the night of 15th of Shabaan (15 days prior to Ramzan). As Muslims worldwide, calculate the beginning of a new day from sunset, Shab-e-Baraat this year is on the night of 27th July, 2010.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is said to have recommended prayers during this night and fasting during the following day.

It reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to visit the Muslim cemetery on this evening and he used to pray for the deceased Muslims.

It is also believed that the all the events, deaths, 'rizq' for the coming year (till next Shab e baraat) is accorded on this night.

To avail full benefit of the night, one has to offer Nifil namaaz throughout the night, recite the Quran, ask for forgiveness, offer supplication (dua). Some formats of Nifil namaaz are circulated these days. Though the formats do not appear in Quran / Hadeeth, they are recommended as they include duas and verses from Quran, which will be beneficial for all of us.

May Allah guide us and show us the right path

Note : The attached video was made in previous Shabaan, hence the timings and venue mentioned towards the end may be ignored

Tere Bin Laden

Seen a movie after a long long time. Last one I saw in Feb 2010 with my family - 'My Name is Khan'. After that none interested me enough to go and watch. Sunday I was totally down -with stress, hectic life and dull health. Since all were at home for the weekend, my sister suggested we watch 'Tere Bin Laden' as the reviews were good. Though I wasn't keen, she suggested it would cheer me up as from the recent stress of my life. I'd seen some funny promos and it was a short movie after all and at a cinema hall 10 mins walk from our house. Also, offbeat cinema by new film-makers are good food for thought, so the deal seemed fair enough. I said 'yes' and decided to be part of the gang.

I didn't regret the decision to watch the movie. The entire movie was interesting as the name. We laughed right from the first frame to the last. It was one helluva crazy movie! My sister put Archana Puran Singh to shame with her non-stop laughter. The film storyline is set in Pakistan, though the shooting took place in India only. It is about a young Pakistani journalist, Ali Zafar (the good looking singer from Pak) who dreams of going to America (USA). And the amount of tricks he does to get there. The first frame begins with a cover story on the first flight going to USA from Pakistan after the 9/11. There is only one Pakistani (Ali) in the all American passenger list (including the cabin crew). Everyone gives him a strange n suspicious look. To make matters worse, the air hostess drops a butter knife and apna Ali gets up in hero-style to return it back to her! Holding up the butter knife, he moves behind the air hostess telling her that she dropped something down and flashes the butter knife! That's it ! The air hostess yells and all hell breaks loose! Ali is taken into custody and questioned and news is twisted and flashed everywhere..... That's how the film opens!

Like the first scene, every scene is crazy but with a lot of message. The Bin Laden in the movie is a fake Osama look-alike set up for earning big bucks, to go to America! The casting, accent, scenes, everything is done with a lot of care to create a Pakistani feel. And all this with an all Indian cast and locations. Only Ali Zafar is the Pakistani actor in the movie. The film is funny as well as satirical. It speaks volumes of US policies, the reality behind the actual 'breaking' news we see on television and has lot of anti-Bush'ism' ! The character of Osama lookalike, played by Pradhuman Singh is too good. A simple village guy, who runs a poultry farm and is crazy about his 'kukkads' and 'kukdis' unwillingly becomes a man-on-the-run after he becomes wanted by the US Army! All characters appear realistic. And though the movie is shot in Hyderabad, you feel you are in Pakistan ! A truly well-made movie with no dull moment and no lecture baazi. Everything is said joking, but hits where it should !

A clean masterpiece by debutante writer-director Abhishek Sharma, the film is recommended for young and old !

Shab-e-Mehraj : The night of Ascent

Many non Muslims wonder what Shab-e-Mehraj is. 'Shab' here means 'night' and 'Mehraj' was Prophet Mohammed SAS's ascent to the seven heavens on this particular night. This was a indeed a miracle of Allah. Though a lot of things happened there and Muhammed SAS met many too, the earthly time taken for the entire episode was merely a few minutes. It is reported that his bed was still warm when he returned back from his journey. The video details the entire episode very beautifully. Though the language is Arabic, the subtitles are English. With the subtitles, I need not add more descriptions about Shab-e-Mehraj in my post as it is self explanatory. I like this particular video because of the beautiful rhythm and tune.

For those who do not know, music is prohibited in Islam. The only permissible instrument is the 'Daf' (flat and round- similar to a drum, but with only one side). The entire rhythm is only on 'daf'' and the beautiful rendition of the words / lyrics. Though music is prohibited, beautiful recitation of Quran is part of Islamic culture. It is called the 'Qiraat'. When you hear a 'Qiraat' of some Hafiz (one who knows the entire Quran by heart)- the octaves, balancing of low and high pitch and controlling of breath, the best of best singers appear nothing. It is that amazing ! And when a Qiraat or Nasheed (religious song) is accompanied by a beautiful voice, then the entire effect is breath-taking ! And no music (not even a Daf) is required as the words flow with such musical perfection.... Subhanallah!

5th July - Holiday or Bandh or just fun ?

It's a holiday in US today due to their Independence Day yesterday. In US, the holidays falling on a Saturday/ Sunday are moved to a Monday. So the Dollar market (which forms major part of our forex) is closed today.

In some suburban areas of Mumbai, markets are closed on Mondays instead of Sundays. Mira Road is always closed on Mondays, except for 'Monday Markets' selling low cost wares on the road during evenings.

So, today's bandh by opposition doesn't affect some people. To me it looks like we're celebrating American Independence with USA! But this is with a difference. The celebration or fun is being had by the Opposition. Whereas the people are being inconvenienced. Here, we're pelting stones at the public, stopping trains where people are travelling and causing inconveniece to the 'junta', whereas this Bandh is supposed to be aimed at the Government !

To me, the entire bandh/ strike concept (which has almost become neglible in Mumbai in the recent past) looks like a big picnic for the party workers who're involved in it. Just like before a picnic or some major event, volunteers gather early morning with food supplies. Then they go out and have fun... puncturing tyres, pelting stones, troubling people. The fun of some is troublesome for many. Who doesn't like to bully others? It's often the target who suffers! Many people who stay away from home (like my youngest brother at Pune!) and depend on outside food are sitting sans a breakfast now. Lunch is again another big question !!! People wanting to go out for emergency work, will be stranded. Sick people will suffer. India will suffer financial losses in crores! Maybe this will further add to prices! So, who will benefit anyways?

Most people are at home due to fear. Some just want a holiday and are glad this is some excuse to stay home. June-July have no Bank Holidays anyways! Over a period of time, I've noticed that strikes and bandhs are called during months when there are no holidays! Interesting, ain't it ?

At such times, people in the service industry are in the most odd situations! Banks, Hotels (not restaurants) and other service providers, on whom public depend cannot just close the shutters and vanish! We just do not know what is to be done. All such organisations make their own action plan. That also differs from department to department, depending on what needs they are catering to! Due to one such decision of giving ladies the benefit of not coming, I am at home! :-) Some organisations have called their staff at 6 / 7 am so that they can work while the commotion, if any, goes on outside. And most such agitations get over by 5 / 6 pm, which is by when offices also shut. And service providers work till much later! Maybe, customers/ clients might not come and might have to eventually go back home. But you cannot predict such things in advance. Clearing/ RTGS / CMS sections of banks depends on RBI to take a call in such cases. If RBI itself is closed due to low attendence, then banks can relax....

Just got a call from my office too. My team and others from South Mumbai (no incidents reported from that side as yet!) who'd braved their way to office are now going back home on boss's instructions...... No customers, forex closed, more untoward incidents in suburbs........ now its more an ego war between parties, all of whom are trying to prove who has more power and say!

For me, it's an extended weekend ! Hmm....

Broken marriage promise pushed her to suicide...

'Broken marriage promise pushed her to suicide'- These were the headlines in 'Mumbai Mirror' on Sunday, June 27. The person who committed suicide was Viveka Babaji, a known model. This is the most talked about news at the moment and makes one wonder! There were several related articles too on the subject. On dreams, hollow life and quest for love... which is all very sad.

Life in a city gets too embroiled in too many expectations from life and self. First - studies ; then work - and it's a competitive world out there! And if you take all of it sincerely, you realise you forgot to live. And when you want to live, you realise things have changed. And for a woman, who is biologically made for some functions by nature, when you do not fulfill them, an emptiness sets in! Also, if due to reasons beyond your control, you are unable to marry, family and society puts a lot of pressure, often blaming the girl herself ! And if all this is accompanied by broken promises and shattering of related dreams, it can totally break a woman, sometimes even a strong one! Because naturally, a woman needs security and a man's presence in her life to feel complete. That's how God has made them.

There was a similar incident in Bhayander several months back. A girl of 37 years, who was unmarried, got frustrated with the pressures and ridicule of society and finally decided to end her life. An unmarried girl (without her own fault) is often looked at with questionable eyes! Also, our society has so many customs and traditions, where only 'married' women are allowed to participate. This is further insulting and demeaning to unmarried women and widows! In our society woman is blamed for almost everything -breaking of an engagement/ rishta; early and untimely death of her husband; not being able to bear children; also not being able to have a male child. Such societal behaviour can drive a person to insanity after a while... You might have a good job, a decent salary and lifestyle, but sans 'happiness', everything still boils to nothing !

Life can surely be strange and unfair to some!

Some great one-liners I came across!

''I've learnt to give, not because I have too much, but because I know the feeling of not having !''

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Written on a board in a graveyard -

"Manzil toh meri yahi thi,

bas zindagi guzar gayi meri...

yahaan tak aate aate..."

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Perfect definition of Trust :

"Trusting a person is giving someone the ability to destroy you completely, but you still believe they won't!"

My name is Shaikh and I am an Indian

Last Saturday (12th June 2010), I was coming back home after a hectic day with two meetings at office. As I stepped out of office, the emptiness and tensions of my life took over. Together it left a severe headache to bog me down still further... Then the traffic at Haji Ali... Finally I reached Mumbai Central station and got a Virar train. I was late for a Saturday (it was almost 6 pm). On Saturdays (after 4-5pm) and on Sundays, the First Class Ladies compartment is not very crowded as you don't find the office crowd then. But alternatively, the crowd in the Second Class compartment increases as it is filled with lot of non-regular commuters, who are holidaying and visiting relatives!

I sat down and closed my eyes, hoping to catch a little nap to relax my mind from the stress of the past 1-2 months. A few mins has passed since the train had moved as we could hear two ladies fighting with each other. In the new type trains, as Mumbaikars are aware, the first and second class ladies compartment are divided by a few steel rods between them and you can clearly see the other side. The fight was a usual one, where people unburden their anger and frustration of getting into and travelling in a crowded train by blaming each other. 'You stamped my foot', 'Dikhai nahi deta?', 'Chadne nahin aata kya?', 'Seedhe khade raho', 'Andar jao', 'Udhar khisko'...... blah blah.... it doesn't end. All these are common phrases and you get used to it. The sober and mature people just stand quietly ignoring everything as if nothing's happening around them. Some look at each other and give a knowing smile. So also when the fight started people hardly looked to see what's happening. But after a while it got real nasty. It started with one lady telling the other to get in properly. The other retaliated as she got inside the compartment and continued to do so. Then they both got into a brawl over who's right, till the lady who'd moved in started screaming her lungs out and insulting and demeaning the first lady. 'Tu pata nahin kahaan se aayi hai', 'Tere muh se S.....s ki baas aa rahi hai (your mouth smells of shit)', and many more abuses.... People was shocked at the words. Some as usual were giggling over it all. The second class compartment was behind from where I was sitting. I turned to see who these Ladies were. This is what I saw - The first lady was in 'Naqaab' (Burqa) and standing with her back against the metallic partition near the aisle / door. The second lady was dressed in a shocking pink saree with a big round red 'teeka' on her forehead, was screaming and hurling character abuses. This was a usual fight, with both people making a fool of themselves. People usually intervene and stop it. But from there the incident took a different turn....

A few educated (?) working Ladies in a group in the second class compartment decided something and together they screamt at the lady at the door- 'Mumbai amchi aahe. Tu zaa Pakistan la'. (Mumbai belongs to Marathis, you go back to Pakistan). And burst out into laughter, as if they said something very nice. When the words, 'Mumbai amchi aahe...' were mid-way, I was expecting some words on 'bhayyas' as the general impression among non-muslims is that burqa-clad Muslims are from North India, plus this was the MNS slogan too. But here the remarks were outrightly communal ! I wondered for a moment what do some Marathi people actually want for Mumbai ? Throwing out people of other states as well as throwing out the Muslims (even if their motherland was Maharashtra?) !!! Surprising all the other Marathi women started laughing and supporting the group, though not that vocally. Slowly there was a huge commotion in the Second Class. The fight was on and others were parallely adding communal fuel to it. People were talking in hushed tones even in the First Class compartment, while some seemed pleased with the comments of the Ladies group. This only showed how many people thought similarly. Not one did object or even say that the comments were wrong! There was one woman in the First Class compartment (a Marathi lady herself) who dared to scream back at the group of ladies who had passed those communal comments! She seemed sober but when you have to deal with a bunch of people who scream, act violent and seem beyond reasoning, you have to raise your voice too! The lady screamt and said in Marathi, 'What nonsense are you ladies talking ? Can't you see that the other lady is very much a Hindu and equally wrong? Where does Pakistan come into all this? Why are you guys giving a communal tone to it? It is because of you people that communal tensions take place in India'. Of course, the ladies group couldn't keep quiet and another parallel fight started between them and her! They started asking her whether she got her food and ration from Pakistan. The Lady said that she was very much a Marathi but not uneducated like them! The Ladies group got more nasty stating that she was a shame to Marathi people. And a lot of blah blah.... Nasty words flew from both sides. The Ladies group got a few silent supporters. They were screaming (till the veins on their neck swelled up!) and threatening the other Lady to get down and come into Second Class to prove she was brave to face them!

The original fight died down in the commotion. People were commenting on even bringing Pakistani artists to India.... it went non-stop. Some ladies in First Class who were earlier giggling in support, changed their stand when they realised that this was getting communal and were shocked at the language used by the Ladies group! Some of the group were glancing towards people in First Class for support. But except a few, majority chose to be quiet. What was in their minds, God knows! After several lectures, the daring Lady from First Class kept quiet as the message was conveyed, but the group on the other side kept on going blah, blah, blah... A few ladies from Second Class compartment, who earlier showed pleasure on comments of branding the Lady in Naqaab as Pakistani, tried to cover up the entire episode to look like a Class Divide. Hushed tones were heard from the other side stating that people who travel in the First Class think no end of themselves and consider people travelling in Second Class as lower citizens, hence the comments. Here, the question was not at all about a Class Divide. But a smooth cover-up for the communal tension which brewed and boiled and overflowed for a full 1/2 hour to 45 mins of the journey! I took care to mention First class and second class in the entire narration to bring out its prominence which was higlighted in the end!

The Lady in the First Class got down at Mira Road and so did I. After that I could hear a few ladies who'd got down from Second Class passing comments on the Lady and more comments on Class factor.... What a smooth cover-up on the main issue! Just like any other Politician in our country would have done ...... !!!

This taste with bitterness in the train brought me glimpses of 'My Name is Khan' (the last movie I saw way back in Feb 2010). It showed the struggles of an Indian Muslim living in America post the 9/11 and the flak he faces while practicing his religion and living amidst hatred for Muslims! The dialogue 'My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist' is still fresh in my mind. I wanted to keep a similar title, but chose to use Indian, as the purpose was to highlight that I am not a Pakistani as some people would like to brand Indian Muslims!

Courtesy : Image taken from http://www.whiteindianhousewife.com/

Poison!

I witnessed a shocking event in the Ladies Class compartment on Saturday evening, on my way home from office. It reflects how our society is slowly getting poisoned ! There is a lot of venom filled inside people, but the outwardly projections are totally different. We are all becoming a bunch of hyprocrites! I'll write about it soon.... Keep watching this space for 'My name is Shaikh, and I am ............... !'

Feel insecure from Allah’s Devising

In our day to day lives we humans keep devising/ scheming against one another for various reasons. What will we do when Allah, the Almighty Himself devises against us ?

We should all feel insecure from Allah's devising because Allah can change human's hearts faster than a wind. The difference between the change of heart between good to bad, from agreement to disagreement, willingness to unwillingness is as short a distance between our two fingers.

We may wonder why Allah would devise against his own people/ creations ? That's because He puts us through trial to test our faith when we least expect it. And a moment's change of heart towards Satan/ Allah's faith can change our lives. It can make a good person bad, a bad person good, a favoured person of Allah amongst His despised !

When we are enjoying the mercies Allah has blessed us with, He might suddenly take away all of it and see the course of action we take. Or Allah might lure us with something wrong and test how far we get lured. When Allah can devise against his own favourite Angel - Iblis, then what are we? One change of heart through Allah's devising made Iblis from an Angel to a Devil (Shaytaan) and most hated by Allah !

And finally what we do in the end will account for our actions in the afterworld. A person who has done good for his entire life, might land in Hell with one action of his. Or a person who has done nothing but bad things might become Allah's favoured by his actions or change of heart towards the end of his Life.

Hence, Pray to Allah to save us from HIS Devising !

Some excerpts from an article by Imam Dhahabi with Quranic and Hadeeth references on Beliefs & Practices, Major Sins

Allah, Most High says,

{Until, in the midst of their enjoyment of our gifts, on a sudden We called then to account, when lot They were plunged in despair!} (Al-An’am: 44)

This means that the punishment occurs suddenly while they are heedless. Al-Hasan said, whoever is blessed but unaware of Allah’s decision he is heedless, and whoever is afflicted but unaware of Allah’s trials is also heedless. Then he read the above Ayah and said, these people are put into devising as they got all what they need and then taken suddenly.

‘Uqbah Ibn Amir (may Allah please him) related that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,
{Whenever a sinful servant attains whatever he wants you should realize that he is drawn on little by little.” Then he reads, “But when they forgot the warning they had received, We opened to them the gates of all (good) things, until in the midst of their enjoyment of our gifts, on a sudden We called them to account, when lot They were plunged in despair.} (Al-An’am 44) (Ahmad and Al-Baihaqi)

It is narrated that,

“When Iblis (Satan) who was an angel -was devised, Gabriel and Mika’il burst weeping and Allah asked them, why did you weep? They answered, O Lord we cannot feel secure from Your devising. Hence, Allah said, “keep on feeling in secure from My Devising.”

`Aishah related that the Prophet used to regularly say,

“O changer of hearts! Make our hearts firm in Thy faith. He was asked, O Messenger of Allah! Do you fear (that we may convert) He said, people’s hearts are between two fingers of Allah’s who changes it whenever He likes.” (Ibn Majah, AI-Hakim, At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibban)

“Verily one of you behaves like the people of Paradise until there is but an arm’s length between him and it, and that which has been written overtakes him and so he behaves like the people of the Hell-Fire and thus he enters it.”( Bukhari)

“Verily one of you behaves like the people of Hell-fire until there is but an arm’s length between him and it, and that which has been written overtakes him and so he behaves like the people of Paradise and thus he enters it. Works are only judged by the end.”( Bukhari, Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi and Ahmad)

Salim Ibn Abdullah related that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) would frequently swear by saying,
“No, by the changer of the hearts.”( Muslim, Abu Dawud, Ibn Majah and Ahmad)

This means that Allah changes one’s heart faster than the wind but in different way! Agreement, disagreement, willingness and hatred etc.

Allah says,
{And know that Allah cometh in between a man and his heart, and that it is He to whom ye shall (all) be gathered} (Al-Anfal: 24)

Mujahid comments that Allah comes in between one’s mind and his own hand as stated in Allah’s saying,
{Verily in this is a message for any that has a heart and understanding or who gives ear and is a witness.} (Qaf: 37)
i.e. he who has mind.

`Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) related that the Prophet (pbuh) would always say,
“O Changer of hearts! Make my heart firm in thy faith. I asked, O Messenger of Allah, I think that you make this supplication much! Do you fear? He said, how could I be secure while the people’s hearts are between the two fingers of Allah, Who changes it whenever He likes. Thus, if He wants to change one’s heart, He does.”

Therefore, you should not be deluded by your own faith, prayer, fasting or whatever you do of acts of worship. This is because all of these works refer to Allah’s will and his plentiful bounties and He can strip you of such blessings.

Down memory lane

I went to Landmark @Phoenix Mills yesterday with my friend Charmaine. I got nostalgic there, thinking of the lovely life I had as a grew up. The dreams, the aspirations, the hobbies.... which got buried in the depth of my work life and struggles and turmoils. The last 10-12 years of my life have only been a struggle. Sometimes a severe and tough one! And all this while, my dreams took a backseat. Why did a place in a mall bring back old memories. Because after ages I let myself be lost in the imported chocolates I saw there, the books which were once a craze with me. The poster colours, fabric paints... everything which was once a part of me were all there. I saw the Enid Blytons, the Agatha Christies, which were part of my school days. There were the Archies Digests, the Tintin comics, which we freaked on even after college. Picked two Archies Comics Digest (just for the fun of it), a religious book and some imported chocolates. Everything I'd held back hoping to enjoy later when things settle down in my life were all there (but neither life settled down, nor did I get to enjoy it!). To top it all, even saw Mandira Bedi. But time was short as I had to rush back home as Dad was alone (other family members were not in Mumbai for various reasons).

I used to read a lot, write a lot. Always wanted to be a well known writer and wanted to get into journalism. Somehow, that did not happen and I got into banking. After that, the struggle got more severe in operations, and I worked till quite late making personal life a complete mess. During the same time, we moved from South Mumbai to Mira Road. This added to problems with long and difficult commuting hours! And I moved to a centralised processing unit, so work hours also became longer.

Slowly, friends faded in the background. I become a loner with only my family around me. I stopped going out and enjoying life. The days were spent in office, from where we could not even see the daylight. When we finished work and got out, the day had already set. Years passed by, years got added to age. Bank holidays didn't translate into holidays for us, as some or the other branch was working in Northern / Eastern or Western India. And we had to report to work. But on those days, we got to leave little earlier. I still remember, how much seeing even a little daylight brought a feeling of satisfaction for me. It warmed my heart as it does when you see something you adore (seeing kittens brings the same feelings in me!). On Sundays, I used to stare at the open window looking at the bright day. I never let the curtains be drawn being afraid to miss out seeing the daylight.

Days went by. I stopped even meeting relatives or going for marriages. Because people started wondering why I wasn't married. I hated the exclamatory stares of known people as I attended marriages of younger people. Neither did I get the time to attend functions. But even Sundays, I preferred to be by myself. And moreover, I needed the rest to gather strength to fight through the coming week. Work got more hectic as many people quit in frustration. While I faced the problems bravely. The people in the neighbouring area probably thought I worked in a Call centre and not in a bank. Because people are generally used to seeing retail branches, which close earlier. Processing units and corporate operations are areas which are not visible to the normal public.

To the existing problems, marriage problems started getting added. I was already late. As I hardly got time to socialise, I was not seen or known much. When proposals came, I was not available at home. Time went by. The pressure started building from all sides. Family, friends, relatives. Finally, came a time that I myself started feeling the pressure and lot of insecurities started cropping up in my mind. Then even the little free time i got, now had to be put in finding a soulmate. Ads were put in newspapers, my name was registered by my parents in marriage bureaus. Then there was a lady in Andheri, who was supposed to fix marriages, whom I hated on sight! Everywhere it was just a question of money. No one really bothered after that. Going to all these places, used to bring tears to my eyes. I hated every part of it. I felt like a commodity. Nothing worked. It only brought funny and sad results. And disappointment. Then we decided to try the matrimonial sites. More disappointments. Then finally gave up with a lot of frustration. Confidence slowly starting going down with problems in work and life.

Hobbies and things I liked to do went further in the background. 2-3 good friends remained. But there was no time to even meet them. Just a few calls here and there once in a month or two. Or sometimes, not even that. Parents health started taking a toll. Dad's health, especially. It was bad when he had to come to the station with chest pain to pick me from the station when I used to be late from work. Finally I could take it no longer and decided to quit, no matter what. I tried one last time to ask for a transfer to a corporate branch, where timings would be much better. It finally worked (had been trying since a couple of years)!

I moved to a branch after several long years in what I call 'Kaale paani ki sazah'. As I think of those days, I can sing -'' Summer of 2009, those were the worst days of my life''! Because the location was also very far from Andheri station apart from having long work hours. 10 months back I moved to Worli office. Life was definately better than earlier. Timings were better. Comparatively, I felt better. I could see the daylight from the glass windows and go out and have lunch too. And at branch, could actually get the bank holidays after so many years. This period gave me time to concentrate on my Dad's health, coax him for checkups, and talk him into getting operated. I gave up on thinking of marriage after all the tensions. Then for almost three months I was assigned the task of setting up a trade desk at Borivali branch. This was almost after Dad's operation. Being near home helped. And post surgery, we were to give him injections day and night. My bro, who had work timings later did the task in the morning. One injection to be given before dinner became my duty as I came earlier than ever! I was scared initially, but finally became a good nurse. And believe me, those were the best months of my life in the entire span of 10 years in the bank. I was near my home. Could leave home at convenient time in the morning. Could finish work at 7 -7 pm and still be home by 8 pm or earlier. Could pay attention to myself. I saw several movies in this short span of time, which I'd not seen in ages. Found a nice, kind man and my marriage got finalised within a month of moving to Borivali. Everything was finally falling in place. I thought God has finally heard my prayers. I was happy to be happy finally. But suddenly, things started going backwards. The period did not last for more than 3 months! I was put back in Worli as in-charge of a Unit. According to management, they have given me a good profile and increase in pay, but for me it only meant long distance from home and longer hours. For me, now only peace of mind and happiness matters. Work now is better than old times. But why should I settle for only better after all these years of struggle?! The marriage which got finalised, is again stuck for various reasons. And my Life has again come to a standstill. Everyone I know is asking me about the marriage date, which I myself do not know. I don't even know what's going to happen finally. But keep praying and hoping for the best.

I don't want to go into reverse gear and experience all the problems all over again. I want to be happy. Truly happy. Settle down. Have my own kids. I want my family to be happy because of me. I want to do things that I like. Like painting, sketching - I wonder when I did that last! I keep smiling inspite odds. I fight back the tears. But sometimes u cannot stop them. But have to control for family's sake. In office, I have to joke and smile and boost the morale of my reportees who work hard. But sometimes people envy outward projections of happiness, not knowing what's deep within. And you lose more of what you never had anyways!

I don't know what prompted me to write what I would never share generally with anyone except at home.

I am going to work on realising my dreams. And I need lots of prayers and my own determination for that. I thank my friend Charmaine who's been a moral and emotional support ever since I've known her for the past few months. I thank God for her. I shall overcome one day, Inshallah.

Hot, hotter, hottest !!!

It's getting hotter and hotter by the day.

And as rains are nearing, its a little cloudy since the past few days. But this does not bring any relief to us. It only gets more hotter. Plus there's shortage of water.


In the southern interiors, the rains have started. In Mumbai, rains are just a week or two away, hopefully! And so is my birthday!!!


My birthdays always brought rains as I grew up. Only in the recent years, they've been unpredictable.


But now birthdays do not bring the same excitement as they did earlier. They just come and go. And you can't do anything about it except get old! But rains will always bring relief from heat! Mumbai monsoons have something romantic and exciting about them minus the floods. The all-season footwear is already in the market. Go then, buy your rain gear and get ready to get wet and say bye bye to sweat!

Amidst all odds - emerges a winner

Kashmir is the crown of India. Right at the top of the Indian map. And surrounded by 3 nations. That gives the state vulnerability and the people often get caught in the disputes of two nations making a claim on the Indian land. The places have military and security personnel even in the main city. Something similar to what I saw in Assam, when I'd visited Dad on his posting to the state for two years, several years ago.

Flights to Srinagar from rest of India allow cabin luggage. But flights from Srinagar to rest of India do not even allow cabin luggage. As you move out of Srinagar, you are subject to three security checks. A few kilometres away from the airport, your have to leave your vehicle and be subjected to luggage and personal check. Beyond that not more than two people who are not taking the flight can accompany you till the main airport. As you reach the airport, your main luggage is again put through scan. Then after taking the boarding pass, you're subject to gruelling security check including body frisking. Ladies purses are emptied on the table and every item is checked in front of all. The lady security personnel sometimes have a laugh at some simple people's expense. You're not allowed a single safety pin or even a small roll of stitching thread. Even cosmetics like compact, eyeshadows, kajal are checked to the extent of spoiling it. Maybe some ladies checking the stuff want to irritate the passengers so much that you allow them to keep it.

As you finish the embarrassing display of your personal things to everyone, you heave a sigh of relief ! As you finally move out of the airport towards the aircraft after showing your boarding pass, it's not over as yet. Another body frisking session is waiting for you ! Then you finally move towards the aircraft sans any luggage and a messy handbag.

For many years, the tourism had dropped due to fear in the people of rest of India in going to places like Srinagar, Gulmarg and the like. People do go towards the Jammu area for Vaishnav Devi yatra, but not many go towards Srinagar. As not many companies have their offices in this area, the major occupation of the people in the land remains sale of local handicrafts. And you find a few other traders apart from some professionals. Slowly, tourism is picking up. Even Dr Manmohan Singh is taking steps to phase out the military from the area and give relief to the inhabitants of the state. We all need to see Kashmir just as any other state of India.

People living away from the city, in the valley, go through lot of problems as cross border tensions build up. But they have now started taking it a part of their lives. Some youth do get frustrated and take a wrong path. While some others face discrimination when they go to other parts of India. Amidst all this tension and the trauma of losing his father to terrorists, when you consider the fact that a boy can overcome all odds to get an MBBS degree first and then top the IAS exams in India, it is really an achievement. There have been times in earlier years, when one used to hear of schools and offices remaining closed unconditionally due to problems in the area. All this affects the normal schooling of a child apart from the fact that the syllabus of children in same standard is not uniform across the state. I saw two children of the same class having two different sets of books altogether.

But having facing all problems, Dr Faisal Shah has brought not only pride, but also hope to the people, especially youth, of Jammu and Kashmir. And like him, I feel all the youth of the state should think positively and strive to achieve success amidst all odds! And you cannot deny success to a person who strives hard to achieve it! And the rest of India, should of course stand in support.

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Note : I'd been to the state only for 3 days in Dec when the 'Chinar' trees had shed their leaves a la 'Mohabbatein' style. But Apr-Oct is actually the right time to be in 'heavenly land'. Mumbai heat is so bad, leading to so many related problems, I do not mind rushing to Srinagar right now!

Drought like situation in Mumbai- craving for water

It rained in New Delhi on 1st May resulting in temperatures falling by 6 degrees celsius bringing a relief to the residents.

It rained a few days back in Pune.

Goa has also experienced rain in the last week.

Its been raining in Bangalore since the past week. Friends staying there even reported pieces of ice falling with the rain making the entire weather cool.

The weather seems to be pleasant all around. But Mumbai is experiencing a drought-like situation this year. It's terribly hot this year. And because of less rains last year, there is also a water shortage. The lakes supplying drinking water to the city are almost drying up. People do not get water daily. Even the private suppliers who supply to individual homes at a price are not getting water from the Municipality. The situation is getting worse. The official rain season in Mumbai is from second week of June. There's still entire May to go till then.... How will we survive in this heat sans water until we're blessed with water from above? We can expect unseasonal showers too till then for relief from heat !

But we still stand short of water. Inspite of good rains in Mumbai, its sad that rain water is not harvested here and we wait till the next season for our supply of water. We're living like primitives in a big city. What Mumbai needs is some good projects for harvesting rain water instead of putting money in skywalks in unnecessary places.

Understanding the land and the people!

You want them. But you inconvenience them!

You want them. Yet do not love them!

You want them. Yet you suspect the people!

You call it your land. Yet you alienate the people.

You call it your land. But do not understand the inhabitants.

You call it heaven. Yet the people of heaven are struggling to be understood.

You want to fight to retain the land. But will you fight for the feelings of the people there?

It's very much part of India, yet two more countries have their eyes on it and have each taken away parts from it?

And in this struggle the people of the land suffer!

Has anyone tried to understand how the people feel about being stuck in the fight of three big nations?

The inhabitants of the land get killed in the crossfire.

Some youth get depressed for not being understood and take to wrong paths.

And then you say -'See, this is what we wanted to prove!'

You want to be there in summer and enjoy pleasant weather and picturesque locales.

And when it's winter, you give them a cold treatment.

You kill them on suspicion. A beggar mistook for a militant?!

You ban sms communication in the land for security reasons further increasing the distance between their dear ones staying far away from them! Would you do the same in a city like Mumbai or Delhi? The people of these cities would have come on the roads in agitation and taken law in their hands! But can the people of that land do the same? No, cause they're made helpless. Their every move is looked at with suspicion. When we fail in our security, we resort to inconveniencing the people? Let us take responsibility for our lapses. When Mumbai was attacked, further steps were taken to tighten security and put stricter measures in place without people having to pay for it! And Mumbai is a city with a large population (whereas they are not as many as us)! And is this only because Mumbai is the financial capital and all the bigwigs lives are also at stake here?!

People visit the land, remember it, yet forget the people.

If there is heaven on earth. Yes, it's here. In our own country.

So let us treat the inhabitants of this heaven with more compassion!

Yes, I am talking about the head of India- Jammu and Kashmir. And especially about the people of Srinagar! God bless them all !

Picture : Shows a woman selling lotus stem (naadru) on the streets of Srinagar. This is eaten with relish in the land as a vegetable. Photo taken by Mr Shakir Kazi.

Train robbers!

Refer my previous post where I'd promised to narrate an incident which happened in my train journey on 19th Mar, 2010. This happened in the 8.34 pm Virar bound local from Mumbai Central.

The train was comparatively less crowded on this day. I went and sat inside. Almost all were seated in the First Class Ladies compartment except 2-3 females, who were standing near the door. One girl was standing very close to the entrance, though there was enough space to stand inside. My view of the entrance got blocked as a couple of ladies came and stood in front of me after boarding the train at Dadar. That's the general practice- people get in, check out who's getting off where and claim their seats accordingly. The train started moving again. A little further on, the train slowed down in between its journey to its next destination station. There was a signal perhaps. That's when there was a commotion at the door and a scream! Some ladies shouted 'pakdo, pakdo'. Just then a speeding train passed by in the opposite direction on the adjacent track. People screamed again. Next - The girl standing too close to the entrance in the not-so-crowded train was almost in shock! People were getting water for her. And all this happened in a matter of a minute.

This is what actually happened - As the train slowed down, there were two robbers, waiting on the tracks below. Their modus operandi is to attack female passengers in Ladies compartment when trains slow down and rob them. Here too, as the train almost slowed, two teenage boys jumped in and tugged hard at the girl's (standing near door) handbag. But the girl was smart and held on to her bag with full force! This took the person pulling the bag, by surprise. They were thin. This sudden turn of events alerted the women standing nearby and one screamt, 'Pakdo, pakdo'. This scared the robbers and both jumped out. Our train didn't pick speed immediately as the robbers had thought. This meant someone could catch them. So they had to flee. That's when the train came on the adjacent track. One of them ducked down, while one was confused. He started to run sideways, but fear of being caught by people in our train, made him change his mind in the fraction of a second. He hoped to run across the track before the other train passed. But his calculation went wrong and 'vrooooom'! The train passed over him. People actually saw that! What a waste of life over a few easy bucks!

In any other city or location, this would have been the talk of the town or on the front pages next day. But in Mumbai, this is part of life. This was seen, spoken of and forgotten next day. No females fainted watching the incident. The girl with whom this happened was dazed. Everyone tried to pacify her. They made her sit and gave her their bit of advise. Others as usual got talking. One female said that she'd seen the guy earlier. He was a guy of 17-18 years, thin. Once he'd got into the Ladies Compartment and continued to stand even after being 'shouted at' by the females in the compartment. She also spoke of how a similar incident happened sometime earlier also, where a girl's bag was pulled from outside. But the girl could not do much about it. These robbers usually attack girls hanging at the door with handbags, listening to music on their mobiles or MP3 player. They're so lost in their own world that they're too slow to react. The girl in our compartment was alert and so happened to save herself and her bag!

Another modus operandi of such robbers is to hide in the bushes or tracks towards evening and as the train slowed, to hit with a rod or stick on the hands of females standing near the door. In such cases, with the shock or impact, people tend to either drop their mobile (if they're holding or talking on it) or handbag. This is happily picked by eagerly waiting robbers!

There is even a crowd which hangs on over the roof of the train over ladies compartment and pulls gold chains and 'mangalsutras'!

Can someone listen to the growing woes of the women travelling by trains and provide them with some security?!